Self improvement is masturbation

I, in shocking news to everyone and against all the odds, am getting married. Married to a woman so much my better I'm afraid she's going to realize what's going on and call the whole thing off any minute now.

Until she does, though, I figure I should take the time between now and whenever we do this thing to find some way to improve upon myself. Not for her (yes, for her) but for me. I'm not a big fan of me, so I figure some self improvement can only help. Gonna tier it, starting with something semi-easy:

Stage one; I'm going to give up soda. Soda, which I more or less live on. I have, right now, about half a 12-pack of root beer, and once that's done I'm all water and juice and flavoured water. Milk.

If that goes well I'll have to up the ante. To what? I dunno, actual healthy food? That would involve giving up my (cold) pop tarts in the morning. I'M ONLY ONE MAN!